Three Bulls on the Ranch

Three bulls were on a ranch when they heard that another bull was being introduced. Each bull had a different perspective on how they would handle the newcomer.

The first bull, who had been on the ranch for five years, declared, “I’m not giving this new bull any of my 100 cows. I’ve worked hard to build my herd.”

The second bull, who had been there for three years, chimed in, “I’ve earned my right to 50 cows, and I’m not giving them up. I’ve put in my time.”

The third bull, who had only been on the ranch for a year and had been limited to 10 cows so far, said, “I may not be as big as you guys, but I’m keeping all 10 of my cows.”

The discussion was interrupted by the arrival of an enormous 18-wheeler, carrying the biggest bull they had ever seen. This massive bull weighed 4,700 pounds, and each of his steps made the steel ramp strain.

Upon seeing the new bull, the first bull offered, “I think I can spare a few cows for our new friend.”

The second bull, having an abundance of cows, agreed, “I have too many cows to handle anyways. I can definitely spare a few without any trouble.”

However, when they turned to the third bull, they found him pawing the dirt, shaking his horns, and snorting.

Concerned, the first bull advised, “Son, don’t be foolish. Let him have some of your cows, and everything will be fine.”

But the fearless third bull responded, “Hell, he can have all my cows. I just want to make sure he knows that I’m a bull too.”


There was a mommy stork, a daddy stork, and a baby stork. One day, daddy stork didn’t come home for dinner, which worried mommy and baby stork.

When the dad finally returned the next morning, they anxiously inquired about his whereabouts. He nonchalantly replied, “I was making a young couple very happy.”

About a week later, it was mommy stork’s turn not to come home for dinner. Daddy and the baby stork were filled with concern. When mom stork arrived the next morning, they asked her where she had been. She casually replied, “I was making a young couple very happy.”

A few days later, it was the baby stork who didn’t come home for dinner. This left his parents extremely worried. When he finally returned the next morning, they asked him where he had been all night. With a mischievous grin, the baby stork proudly declared, “I’ve been scaring the sh!t out of college students!”