I’m 49 and just got out of a 20-year marriage with Isabel, or “Izzy”. The relationship had completely flatlined, and honestly, my wife seemed just as done with it as I was. So, after the split, I started dating a woman named Jenna.
Funny enough, I met her at a party while I was still technically married, hosted by a mutual friend. Fast forward to my daughter Maya’s 15th birthday, I figured it was a good time to introduce Jenna to my family.
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We showed up at the party, and from the jump, things felt off. My ex’s family keeps side-eyeing Jenna and mumbling to each other. It wasn’t typical jealousy vibes either it felt like they’d seen a ghost or something.
Then, my ex sees me with Jenna and imme- diately screams “You idiot!” and burst into laughter. The sound was loud and uncontrollable.
Everyone turned to her in confusion. My kids Caleb and Maya had been at a table eating burgers, but they stood and looked just as perplexed as everyone else.
I noticed my girlfriend’s smile had frozen. She looked around and swallowed, nervously. But before I could ask her or Izzy what was going on, I saw Gloria, Izzy’s mother, stomping toward us.
Her face was red due to anger. She stopped just inches from Jenna and, without warning, slapped her hard across the face.
My girlfriend staggered back, her hand flying up to her cheek. I moved forward, trying to shield her, but Gloria wasn’t finished.
“How dare you show your face here!” she screamed her fury at Jenna. “After everything you did to my daughter? You think you can walk in here?!”
“Gloria, what the hell are you talking about?” I demanded, trying to push her away gently.
Suddenly, my ex-brother-in-law David stepped forward and put his arms on Gloria to hold her back while glaring at Jenna with open hatred.
“You really don’t know, do you?” he spat, looking at me like I was the biggest fool on earth. “This woman,” he pointed at Jenna, “was Izzy’s high school bully. She t0rmented her, and it was relentless!”
Jenna, staring at the ground, refused to meet my eyes. “Is… is this true?” I whispered.
Jenna hesitated, then nodded tightly. “Yes, but that was years ago. I was young and stupid…”
David cut her off. “It wasn’t just high school, Marcus! She tried to get Izzy kicked out of college. Spread lies and accused her of cheating on exams and plagiarizing papers all her freshman year.”
I stepped back, shaking my head. “No, that can’t be,” I said, turning to Jenna. “Tell them that wasn’t you!”
“It was her,” David spat. “She almost destroyed my sister’s future because she was too stupid to get into college!”
“I WASN’T STUPID!”, Jenna yelled at him but quickly turned to me. “Yes, I did those things, Marcus. It’s true. But people change. Doesn’t that count for something?”
My head was spinning. “Did you know she was my wife when we met and kept running into each other?” I asked.
Jenna looked down and nodded.
“GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!” Gloria screamed, thrashing in David’s arms.
“Please, Marcus. Leave with me, and I’ll explain everything,” Jenna said, trying to touch my arm, but I was done with her.
“No,” I said, and this time, my voice cracked.
Jenna said, “You think you’re so perfect? You think you didn’t hurt anyone? You left your wife and kids just because you were bored. This isn’t all on me!”
I have no idea if she said that out of spite, to hurt me, or to justify herself. But she turned and walked away with her head held high.
When she left, I noticed the entire backyard was silent. Everyone watched me, waiting for something.
There was pity in my relatives’ eyes, but contempt in Izzy’s side of the family. Caleb stood off to the side with his arms crossed and his face tight, while Maya looked at me like I was a stranger.
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“Dad,” she whispered. “How could you?”
“Maya, I didn’t know any of this!” I cried out.
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Caleb walked forward. “Honestly? You didn’t know?” my son asked.
“It doesn’t matter!” Maya continued angrily. “You broke our family for NOTHING!”
That day those words hit me harder than anything else .
I’d spent months convincing myself I was doing the right thing. That it was meant to be because things were going so smoothly. Everyone seemed happy!
But my kids weren’t. That’s what I realized at that moment. Yet, I still felt like the wronged party.
Throughout all this, Izzy hadn’t said anything. She stood there and watched it play out like it was none of her business. I don’t know why I hated that so much. It was to her that I yelled, “IT WASN’T MY FAULT! I DIDN’T KNOW!” before walking out in shame.
In the following days, I calmed down and tried reaching out to my kids. Caleb responded occasionally but was always short with his answers. Maya didn’t respond at all. I didn’t dare call Izzy.
After all, I’d cut Jenna off for good.
Weeks later, I ran into my cousin and vented some of my feelings to her. By the end of that meeting, she gave me the business card of a therapist.
I called only a few days later. One thing he said actually put things into perspective.
“Whether you knew or not is irrelevant. You chose the divorce. You hurt your family on an impulse, as you’ve told me,” the doctor began. “What your ex-in-laws revealed was a bombshell, for sure. But at the end of the day, what matters now? Do you want to lose your kids for good?”
No, I didn’t want that. I saw all the selfishness and stupidity I’d displayed. So, I took action.
First, I called David to get the full detailed story of how Jenna almost ruined Izzy’s future. They’d needed lawyers and cops to finally get her to stop and disappear from their lives. During our talk, he called me many names and insults and said to me Jenna had played me.
I asked for David’s forgiveness and he gave it grudgingly.
Afterward, I called my ex-mother-in-law and begged her. She forgave me only after giving me a two-hour lecture. She also told me I would never find someone as great as her daughter.
And this was the most painful conversation. I would never have Izzy as my wife again, but she was the mother of my children and the person I called next. Aside from forgiveness, I had to beg her for help with the kids.
IFortunately, Izzy was gracious enough to agree after telling me that I really had no way of knowing who Jenna was. I breathed a sigh at last.
It took several weeks, but eventually, Caleb and Maya were open to having a deep conversation with me. We had to start slow, though. It had to be on their terms.
This is my ONE chance to make things TRULY right and get my children back. I’m seeing them tomorrow. Wish me luck.
